


Soldier

by LBibliophile



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bingo Fill, Bucky Barnes Bingo 2019, Gen, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam/Bucky Week, Snipers, Whumptober 2019, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 07:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21132734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LBibliophile/pseuds/LBibliophile
Summary: Before he wastheSoldier, he was stillasoldier.Written for:Sam Bucky Week 2019 - Day 3: dreams/nightmaresBucky Barnes Bingo 2019 - K5: it's not your faultWhumptober 2019 - Day 5: gunpoint





	Soldier

He feels the weight of a rifle in his gloved hands, the cold metal body as familiar as his own. The sight is held to his eye, his view steady even as he shifts his weight on the frozen ground, tendrils of frigid air prying at his clothes. The only part of him that is warm is his lower face, muffled to prevent his breath from fogging in the icy air.

A part of him curses the cold, curses the stillness that keeps him from discovery, but he ignores it. Being a sniper is about the art of waiting. Watching, hidden, until the perfect moment. Waiting until everything aligns – sniper, gun, target – and he sends death flying along that path of potential.

He can see it in his mind. The bullet drawn to its target as though magnetic. A spray of red; bright against the grey and white of winter. A body crumpling; dead before they even realise they were in danger. And as everyone panics, he can pull his awareness back to the safety of his nest, pack up his gun, and slip away.

But that is the future; all that matters is the now. He stills his mind: cold, empty, focused. Nothing exists except the gun in his hands and the target in his sights.

He sees his moment.

Breathes out. Holds.

Fires.  
_____

He wakes with a gasp, a shudder jolting through him. For a moment, he can still feel the familiar weight in his hands, the sound of the shot ringing in his ears.

Then reality returns, and with it, a rush of guilt and shame. He was so good at killing people.

Usually, after a nightmare of the past, he will go to Steve. He’ll crawl into his warm embrace and listen to the reassurances Steve whispers in his ear.  
_It’s not your fault. HYDRA was controlling you. You were just a weapon; you didn’t know what you were doing. It’s not your fault._

But after some nightmares, he avoids Steve. He can’t bear the undeserved comfort and false platitudes. On these nights, it is usually Sam who finds him, and offers his own words.  
_Yes, you did it. But it was just following orders, doing your job. It was a war; you’re not the only one. It’s not your fault._

Sam understands what Steve ignores. Before he was _the_ Soldier, he was still _a_ soldier.


End file.
